Annoyed

I don't know I've written something like this... but here it goes.

A student stressed me out a lot today. I thought we will have a fun lesson together but in the end, it came for the worse. I guess she was not that as enthusiastic as before. Perhaps, I have forgotten how irritable she is when she can't get what the words mean. Or maybe I expected so much of her because I know she knows a lot of words and reads between the lines and can understand even the strangest expressions. As always, in the end, she apologizes about that. But the hurt has already been inflicted.

I got annoyed. I almost lost my cool. I believe I have forgotten about handling those kinds of people.
And maybe, after a year and six months of teaching, I still don't know how to teach. Sigh.

I guess I do.

I am now on the point where I am to lax in my job--where the room of improvement is there but I'm not budging any step to take initiative and do it. I have gotten to lazy, pre-occupied of some thoughts. I was very different when I was just starting out as an HBOET. There was a drive to be better but now, I don't know.

There is something wrong with my outlook and there is something wrong now on how I look on things. I guess I need help on how to do this improvement. Another job perhaps? Or maybe teaching in our company office? I don't know. I'm constricted with my time and my mind wants to stay in this constricted mind.